An array of choices put in place to help you.

“He’s a good man, he doesn’t mean to hurt me, he just gets mad and loses control”, Highland County resident assisted in 2008.

Domestic Violence is any action or behavior, which is meant to control, gain power over or manipulate a partner.  It can include: verbal put-downs; threats of harming you, your children, leaving or committing suicide; sole decision-making; economic control; isolation; physical abuse; sexual abuse; restraining a person; mind-games; isolation; intimidation; pet abuse; encouraging children to harm or disrespect their partner.

Domestic Violence is not about loss of control, but rather power and control over another.  Someone who is out of control is not able to stop his or her abusive actions when an officer arrives, or a family member stops by.  Someone out of control is not able to decide to hit a person only where clothing will hide the evidence.  An abusive person is in complete control of their behavior and actions, at all times. 

Does Your Partner:

• Humiliate you in front of others?
• Call you names or put you down?
• Accuse you of cheating or act jealous when you talk to other people?
• Question you about your whereabouts?
• Prevent you from seeing or talking to friends and/or family?
• Destroy personal property, break doors or leave holes in walls during or after arguments?
• Make you have sex or perform sexual acts against your will?
• Force you, or lock you out of, your home or car, leaving you someplace unsafe?
• Make all the decisions?
• Refuse to let you work, drive and/or have access to financial information or resources?
• Make threats?  “If you leave, I’ll kill myself” “If I can’t have you, no one will” 
• Harm or kill pets?
• Tell you that you are to blame for their actions, or blame you for their mistakes?
• Threaten to take your children, harm them, or encourage them to abuse you?
• Have a history of bad relationships? 
• Like to play mind games?
• Hold you down, pinch, slap, punch or inflict any other type of physical abuse?
• Make fun or downplay any of your interest or achievements?

How Do You Feel

• Like you are walking on eggshells when around this person?
• Has your self-esteem decreased, meaning do you feel worse about yourself since becoming involved with this person?
• Are you scared to speak your mind or tell your partner how you feel?
• Have you changed your behavior or actions, out of fear of what they might do?
• Blame yourself for their abusive actions? “I shouldn’t have …” “If only I’d…”

If you answered yes to even one of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship.  Contact our agency for help, or to talk about your options.

Remember, there is no excuse for abuse.